Friday, November 03, 2006

No Mister Bond...

I expect you to die!

"Casino Royale" is coming out soon and I'm psyched about it. It's a spy movie not an explosion movie. To celebrate it's pending release, here are my top 20 things in the James Bond series.

20. Jump-suited goons. The best entries in the series seem to have armies of nameless jump suited goons who run around with submachine guns waiting to get killed or run away in the last 20 minutes of the movie.

19. Felix Leiter. Gotta love the guy who gets to bail out Jimmy when things get tough. It helps when he brings the Marines/Navy/Army/Seals/etc.

18. Tuxedos. If I ever wear a tuxedo, you know what I'm going to say within the first ten minutes of putting it on.

17. Jaws. Yes, some people aren't Jaws fans, but he's just so damn menacing...until he turns to the good side in Moonraker.

16. The faceless Blofeld. Before "You Only Live Twice" Blofeld's face was never seen. He was much more...sinister that way.

15. General Alexis Gogol. Played by Walter Gotell, Bond's sometimes nemesis and later more consistent ally as the films became more homages to Detente rather than "let's stop the commies!"

14. Valentin Zhukovsky played by Robbie Coltrane. Bond's later ally in the post-Soviet Bond films. Dies heroically in "The World is Not Enough."

13. SPECTRE. Dangerous and without any convictions save their own code of conduct. Truly a threat to the world.

12. Kerim Bey. The last role for Pedro Armendiariz before he committed suicide (after being diagnosed with terminal brain cancer) was of Head of Station T. Kerim was the most resourceful and well-equipped of the local Station Cheifs Bond ever has worked with in the series. He dies on the Orient Express in "From Russia with Love."

11. Oddjob. See "Goldfinger", you'll know.

10. "Tiger" Tanaka head of the Japanese SIS in "You Only Live Twice" who just happens to have a company of Ninjas handy when Jimmy needs to raid an extinct volcano-turned SPECTRE base. I wish I had a company of Nijas handy. He puts Felix to shame with that. (Yes the marines are great, but DAMN! Nijas? Dude, they'll kill you before you even know it!)

09. And based on that...The Company of Ninjas from "You Only Live Twice." If ever I get put in a position where I'm an evil genius and the hero has brought a company of nijas, I'm just gonna give it up right there.

08. Two words "Pussy Galore" Thanks. Nuff said.

07. The James Bond Astin Martin...various models.

06. Donald Pleasance as Blofeld. "KILL BOND! NOW!!!" Perfect.

05. Moneypenny (either Lois Maxwell or Samantha Bond) I think we all need a Moneypenny sometimes in our lives.

04. Dame Judith Dench as M. Best successor to Bernard Lee yet.

03. Bernard Lee as M. The epitome of what I expect the head of a group of secret agents to be. Flinty, irascable, smart and outwardly dispassionate...but he cares a lot for his people. Sometimes that side shows itself at important points in the series. (see "On Her Majesty's Secret Service")

02. Q. How can you not put Q in the top 5? I miss him. (RIP Desmond.)

01. Everything in the movie Goldfinger. It is the standard by which I measure the other films.

No comments: